A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if she could see her license. She replied in a huff.
“ I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my …
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first son said: “ I built a big house for our mother”
The second son …
Len and Jim worked for the same company. One day, Len lent Jim 20 dollars, but then Jim left his job and went to work in another town without paying Len back his 20 dollars.
Len did not see Jim …
Little Johnny’s kindergarden class was on a field trip to their locl police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 Most Wanted men.
One of the kids poined to a picture and …
“Why do you beg?”
“The truth is I beg to get money for booze (drink).”
“Why do you drink?”
“To give me the courage to beg”. Kẻ ăn xin “Tại sao anh …
Teacher: Who helped you to draw this map, Jack?
Jack: Nobody, sir.
Teacher: Didn’t your brother help you?
Jack: No, sir. He drew it all himseil. Chỉ mình anh ấy vẽ Giáo viên: “Ai …
Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked:
“Did God made you, Grandpa?”
“Yes, God made me,” the grandfather answered.
A few minutes later, the little girl asked him,
“Did God make me too?”
“Yes, He did,” the older man answered.
For a few minutes, the little …
Mike was not well. He was tired all the time, and his head often hurt.
“Go to doctor”, his wife said.
Mike did not like visiting the doctor, but after a week, he went. The doctor asked him a lot …
In the Spring fair, a 4 year old child who got lost was crying. A security guard came to console him and said:
“If you don’t want to get lost, you should have gripped your mother’s dress”.
The boy cried sniffingly:
“But my …
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said.
“Mommy, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. From now on …
Little Johnny was at his first day of shool. The teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him.
He looked around the room …
A man was brought before the judge. The witness said that the day before the prisoner had stolen some pears from a basket, outside a grocer’s. The solicitor said to the judge:
“It is true that the prisoner took a few pears with …
A village boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, especially two shiny walls that could move apart, and back together again.
The boy asked his father, “ What is this father?”
…
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an Old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.”
The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, …
“Sir” hissed the lawyer, “do you swear this is not your signature?”
“Yes.”
“Is it not your handwriting?”
“Nope”
“You take your solemn oath that this writing does not resemble yours in a single particular?”
“Yes”…
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world.
One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First, she gave her …
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train. He had never seen them before, so he began:
“My name is Stone, and I’m even harder than stone, so do what I tell you or …
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was….
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.
“Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”.
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am but I hate …
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